bootyscientist:

the day i smoke a blunt on the balcony of a home i own, i might just shed a tear cuz I’ll know i finally made it

roachpatrol:

soloontherocks:

jackthevulture:

IM SCREAMIBG WITH LAUGHTER THESE GIRLS ARE MY HEROES

SHOTS FUCKING FIRED

For anyone not familiar with how modern country sounds, these girls are calling out ACTUAL songs like making blatant references to ACTUAL lyrics from other songs on the radio.

And its fucking FLAWLESS OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.

One of the reasons I stopped listening to country was, when I was a kid, the radio was full of songs by women and songs that talked about women like they were actual people.

Now so many of the songs dont give women a personality, just describe things about them like their legs, their lips, how they look in your truck. Its just SO much objectification.

My sister just showed me this and its ADSFHASDFKLLKFH she even said she heard it on the radio im so happy

"I aint your tan legged juliet" IM SCREECHING

I might be in love please send help

I’ll take a slice of mister overall cheesecake tho this is so fucking charming

maliciousmelons:

They say whoever smelt it dealt it so technically this weed is yours officer

my-h-e-a-r-t-s-not-in-it:

hey sorry im late i didnt want to come

godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

marinashutup:

my brother blocked me on twitter and i’m really upset because his tweets are pure gold

hypnomaniac:

'you shouldn't eat that it's too fattening/full of calories'

*proceeds to eat both food and person*

greatjaggi:

Every Dorito is a triangle but not every triangle is a Dorito

pinkvelourtracksuit:

after u check the bae’s instagram

image

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have